The Unhipster

getting crafty with cat hair

March 29, 2012
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yes, this book actually exists.  there is a crazy cat lady out there who decided it was appropriate to make crafts out of cat hair.  and then she wrote a book about it.  more bizarre, however, is the fact that there is a publishing company that totally went along with the idea.

before starting a project, make sure you have all the material required.  you can pick up most of what you need at joanne’s fabric and the SPCA!

the book provides useful tips on “storing sheets of cat hair until you are ready to start crafting” in a tin just like the one in this picture.  i would like to add an additional tip: place this tin in a well-hidden location so there is zero chance of anyone finding it. ever.

oh dear…

this chaper starts with: “carry your cat all around town.  these totes may be small, but they’re just the right size to hold a magazine or electronic device.  it is easy to make them look more sophisticated by attaching felted cats and leather handles.”  yes, sophisticated is exactly the word that comes to mind.


Posted in hmmm...

sugar can expire. apparently.

March 22, 2012
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to break up the afternoon i just hoofed it over to walgreens for some smarties, because i prefer chalky candy that tastes like chemicals over chocolate things. i was not jazzed about walking 2 long city blocks, but the russell’s convenient store in the lobby of my building has a pitiful candy supply (not to mention really stale cheez-its). i found it bizarre that the smarties actually have a “best by” date. it’s novemeber 7, 2014. first of all, it’s a good thing i got a 16 oz (that’s a pound) value bag. second of all, how does sugar go bad? ce de candy, inc. guarantees that “smarties are made from only quality ingredients”…but what exactly happens to these ingredients after nov 6th, 2014? i really can’t wait to find out. maybe the artifical color “yellow 6 lake” has an expiration date??

the back of the smarties bag also informs me that smarties do not contain crustacean shellfish (phew!). eating candy can be so educational.


Posted in work!

my REI dividend

March 21, 2012
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thank you, REI, for allowing me to afford the second half of that luna bar.


Posted in snapshots

little office gem

March 16, 2012
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since it’s the end of a friday workday we decided to go crazy and take another little trip to the new office space on the 10th floor.  and stumbled upon this.  it appears we took a wrong turn and ended up at a dharma initiative remote testing facility.  either way, i need to find a way to get that device back to my house.

dharma initiative device


Posted in snapshots, work!

on a light post

March 16, 2012
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this just in: hallucinogen usage in the west wash park region of denver is on the rise.  as is poor spelling.  here’s an activity:  take a break from counting magicians, have another mushroom cap and explore the definition of “possessive noun.”


Posted in snapshots

another day another dollar

March 14, 2012
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here is a recap of today’s highlights at the office:

1. a 9am “all hands” (all 24 hands) corporate development meeting.  after 3 years and 5 months of working there i’m still not entirely sure what we do.

2. a ceo’s wife chiming in via phone conference to state, multiple times, that “we are getting deeper penetration”…with regards to our company’s press releases reaching a wider audience.  i don’t care what the context is here, just think before you speak.  visualize, if you can, the words spoken out loud before you deem them appropriate.  you live in the world, you should know better.

3. a breakfast that consisted of a handful of ranch pringles, a cup of cheez-its, and a milano cookie.  followed by immediate stomach cramping.  having to get to the office at 8:58am (once a month) leaves NO time for a proper meal.

4. a strong resistence to visiting facebook, but with workday boredom levels reaching unprecendented highs, i think there may have been two separate visits.  ugh.

5. a secret afternoon expedition with my co-worker down to our “new space” on a different floor in the building.  we will be attempting to move the entire company (currently occupying a spacious suite that takes up half a floor) to one window-less file room.  flickering flourescent overhead lights and all.  pass the cake, milton.  needlesstosay, there’s going to be a spike in the frequency of “working from home” days.

that’s it for the day.  my college academic advisor would be so proud.

 


Posted in work!

“it’s been an incredible journey”

March 13, 2012
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if you feel like you need to shed a few brain cells – maybe you read a little too much faulkner in 11th grade and you want to free up some space up there – you could save yourself a trip to your local dispensary and just watch a season of the bachelor.  case in point: i just watched the last 40 minutes of the finale followed by an hour of after the rose ceremony and i just had to “phone a friend” because i could not, for the life of me, think of the word for that-place-you-go-to-purchase-medicinal-marijuana-legally.  and i live in colorado.

recap on any season that has ever aired:  helicopter.  “when i started this journey…” helicopter.  “i’m open to love…”  panning shot of snow-capped moutains.  “some of these women are not here for the right reasons…”  hot tub.  “i wasn’t prepared for how hard this would be…”  helicopter.  “this is the perfect place to fall in love…”  tropics.  lots of tropics.  lots of helicopter rides in and around the tropics. and snow capped mountains.  “ladies? ben?  this is your final rose.”  rejection. “ladies, if you did not receive a rose, please say your final goodbyes.” tears. [limo driver and/or camera guy hoping to score on some sloppy seconds.]  now if only they could depart via helicopter…

so the villain of the season finally takes the blue ribbon.  hooray, a twist!  but not a good enough reason to watch season 17.  unless you have a copy of the sound and the fury within arms reach to cancel everything out.


Posted in television

we are not on the love boat, people

March 9, 2012
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there is a reason god created headphones.  perhaps several reasons, but one very good reason god created headphones was to spare your coworkers from your awful music preferences.  especially a coworker who is experiencing LOH (late onset hangover) and who is just trying to survive the last few hours of the friday workday.  the wretched cruise ship jams that are seeping through my office wall were not part of my afternoon plan to assuage the dull pounding in my head.  i feel violated.  though i normally recommend some high performance headphones like beats by dre (such magic) in this particular situation i would strongly urge you to pick up a walgreens pair for $6.99…and hopefully the sound quality is so poor that you can’t hear the awfullness of your own music.


Posted in snapshots

this beat is technotronic

March 6, 2012
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the word “technotronic” has not had a presence in my conscious mind for nearly 23 years (ggllp), yet i felt compelled to watch technotronic music videos at work today.  i blazed through the hits i remembered – “get up”, “pump up the jam”, “this beat is technotronic”.  it was like i was watching a 3am jazzersize infomercial. throw in a fanny pack (or 10) and some mesmerizing kaleidoscope graphics and suddenly you have the ONE and only positive thing that happened in 7th grade.  just look at those peace signs twirling in the background.  how’d these kids pull off that kind of computer graphics genius?  my family didn’t even own our first apple IIGS for another 5 years.


Posted in music, video