The Unhipster

vintage apartment available

November 21, 2012
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while perusing Craigslist for rental properties i curiously clicked on a listing that read “Vintage 1BR Apartment.”  perhaps my copy of Webster’s is way out of date, but when did the definition of “vintage” become “piece of shit rat hole you couldn’t pay me to live in”??  If this is a joke to lure and laugh at vintage-loving urbanites, well…huh, nice work i suppose.  but something tells me “Jessica” from Pinnacle Real Estate Management is not that cunning.  the fact that one of the six “rental features” advertised is a freezer really just says it all (note: there is no mention of a refrigerator).  that’s like a hotel advertising they have beds.  its an assumption i’m pretty sure we can all make.

here is a picture of the beautiful “vintage” exterior.

nothing says”vintage” like generic grey carpets and small single-pane windows. 

but MOST impressive is this “vintage” toilet. irresistable.

Posted in hmmm..., snapshots

an evening read

November 20, 2012
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pixie enjoys a good web browse now and again.  here she is, taking in a funny Gawker article.  though she generally prefers cat-ish activities such as eating everything in sight and spreading litter pellets all over the house –  especially where the floor board meets the wall – every once in awhile she’ll engage in cerebral exercises.  thank god we have the same type of humor…although though her reading skills are well below what they should be (i blame the republicans).

i walked home

November 20, 2012
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i just walked the 24 city blocks home from my office, in business casual attire, wearing the equivalent of outside slippers (Toms), while listening to a 3 minute and 13 second Carly Rae Jepsen song on repeat.  i have no idea why i did that and i feel no different now, outside of the small realization that 1. perhaps i can exercise patience after all and 2. i may be slowly going insane.

i could have taken the bus, called for a cab, or called for the ride that was already offered to me.  i could have listened to one of the numerous playlists on my ipod.  i made a decision (devoid of logic) and went with it.  though i spent the majority of the walk silently congratulating myself for keeping my cool under this self-inflicted irritating circumstance, there were fleeting moments (emphasis on fleeting) where i actually stopped the cognitive activity of analysis and acceptance and just noticed the things in front of me: dogs out for their evening poop walk and urban landscape.  the owner of a toy chihuahua said hello.  yeah, my toes were cold, my purse was too heavy, “Call Me Maybe” was quickly losing its catchy appeal, but i consciously chose to not get annoyed…it took every fiber in my body, but it worked.  perhaps it was a forced perspective, but the reality that ensued was this: i spent 37 minutes burning a few calories, learning which streets temporarily have no sidewalk access, and thinking about the merits of buying a used volvo.  all in all, not unpleasant.

now if i could only learn how to apply this same maxim to my job.  HAHAHAHAHAHHA!  37 minutes of cardio and monotonous radio pop is not the same thing as a corporate office prison cell that you will likely inhabit until the age of retirement.  try again Gandhi.  there is certain enlightenment that most certainly can never be attained.

Posted in snapshots

don’t put it on your bumper, it goes in the trash

November 13, 2012
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i’m going to start a list of bumper stickers that need to be banned. the list is going to start with this one.  and it’s going to include every other bumper sticker that was ever made.

while we’re at it, i wouldn’t mind getting rid of all the RAV 4s…

Posted in snapshots, work!