The Unhipster

the perks of flexible employment

October 23, 2014
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working from home comes with a multitude of special benefits.  one of which is the ability to go on a mid-day Target binge between conference calls. i did that today. oh i tested the limits of what that little REDcard can handle (i know exactly how much it can handle because it comes directly from my checking account, which is now depleted. though i did save 5%). i needed kitty litter bags, but i did not walk out with just kitty litter bags.

if you’re feeling a bit disconnected lately (mercury is still in retrograde, and will continue to linger there until the 25th…plenty of time to get to Target) follow the big red dot and share in the joys of over-consumption with fellow members of society, who, for whatever reason, are also pillaging the aisles of a big box store on a wednesday afternoon.  you look around and ask yourself, “who are these people?” “do they not have jobs?” “what happens here?” and then you smile at the sweet realization that they’re just like you!! (unless they’re rich housewives who need an activity between morning yoga and afternoon pumpkin spice lattes. in which case you’re just one sugar daddy-or-mamma shy of where they are) and voila, that feeling of interconnectedness has magically returned.

now that you’ve sucessfully reached level 3 on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs pyramid (“love and belonging,” for all those who slept through psych 101) you can go back to shopping. an armfull of clothes that will not survive more than 3 wash cycles? yes, they cost less than detergent. a new cat scratcher, simply because you walked by it? i mean why not. a bottle of Meyer’s multi-surface basil scented cleaning spray even though you have ample supplies at home? it just smells so good. tic-tacs and an orange mango vitamin water energy drink? it’s too easy, you don’t even have to search for it because it’s right there.  and guess what else is right there that you weren’t looking for? a $5 DVD of “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.”  whoa. you don’t have a DVD player at home, but it doesn’t even matter, the answer is still a resounding YES. why? because you have a sudden flashback to the sweet coming-of-age book / film and remember the wisdom-filled words uttered by the young and troubled Charlie…”We accept the love we think we deserve.” and for whatever reason those words resonate today and they hit you like a cinder block (which you can pick up next door at Ace because they’re on display, they’re cheap, and you can use them for something) and you slip your maxed-out REDcard back into your wallet and walk away knowing that this Target check-out aisle was the only place you were ever supposed to be at this moment in time. and the gratitude comes rushing in.

and then you bee-line it home to dial in for your next work call..



Posted in work!