The Unhipster

Senior citizenship and baby food | August 19, 2013

today i got a new membership form in the mail, the kind that welcomes you into old age.  what?! why does someone out there assume i’m 50? is it because i wear house slippers and feed my cats deli turkey?  this is just cruel and unusual.  hitting a new age bracket (and a premium increase) for health insurance on my last birthday was a real treat, but this is golden.  suddenly the mail surprise i received last week doesn’t seem so bad: i recevied a box from Gerber containing two cans of baby formula. addressed to me at my address. no baby at my address.  no baby en route to my address.

my mailman now thinks i’m a retired middle aged new mom.  what’s next?  coupons for 40% of Chinchilla food from PetSmart? i smell the beginning of a Saturday Night Live character breweing somewhere…and i’ll bet 2 months of my new magazine that she looks a lot like an aged Blossom.

granted, i would love to be retired right now at the age of 36, but my new financial advisor can assure you that is not happening. i would even check the little box for the 5 year membership (BEST VALUE), if only just for that “FREE insulated travel bag.”  but thankfully, i still have several years until i’m eligible.  and incidentally, several years before i can enjoy the luxury of temperature controlled travel items.

Posted in oh no!, work!

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