The Unhipster

“it’s been an incredible journey”

March 13, 2012
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if you feel like you need to shed a few brain cells – maybe you read a little too much faulkner in 11th grade and you want to free up some space up there – you could save yourself a trip to your local dispensary and just watch a season of the bachelor.  case in point: i just watched the last 40 minutes of the finale followed by an hour of after the rose ceremony and i just had to “phone a friend” because i could not, for the life of me, think of the word for that-place-you-go-to-purchase-medicinal-marijuana-legally.  and i live in colorado.

recap on any season that has ever aired:  helicopter.  “when i started this journey…” helicopter.  “i’m open to love…”  panning shot of snow-capped moutains.  “some of these women are not here for the right reasons…”  hot tub.  “i wasn’t prepared for how hard this would be…”  helicopter.  “this is the perfect place to fall in love…”  tropics.  lots of tropics.  lots of helicopter rides in and around the tropics. and snow capped mountains.  “ladies? ben?  this is your final rose.”  rejection. “ladies, if you did not receive a rose, please say your final goodbyes.” tears. [limo driver and/or camera guy hoping to score on some sloppy seconds.]  now if only they could depart via helicopter…

so the villain of the season finally takes the blue ribbon.  hooray, a twist!  but not a good enough reason to watch season 17.  unless you have a copy of the sound and the fury within arms reach to cancel everything out.


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