The Unhipster

to my beloved AC unit

June 27, 2012
Leave a Comment

you. what can i say to you, you little archaic dusty awkward appliance.  i’ve only known you about 12 hours, but i’m guessing we were born the same year…so i knew the minute i saw you we had a special bond.  i don’t care what your sun sign is, we are Year of the Snake (and i’m going to go look up what that means after this.)  before you came into my life window, i felt hopeless, ready to surrender to a slow death brought on by heat-induced schizophrenia.  i felt the very essence of life force escaping my body with every bead of sweat. drip. drip. goodbye. world.  goodbye human cat, we don’t need food where we’re going.

and poof, like a beacon in the night, there you were. you were looking a little worse for wear, but i knew to look beyond the rough exterior.  your true beauty and brilliance blazes from your core, or i guess what most would probably call your compressors and your fan and your partitions and your evaporator coils…whatever, i could go on, you are very complex.

i know our time might be limited.  and in 5 months when the temperature plummets 100 degrees, and you get tucked away in the corner of a storage closet and you feel as forgotten as the season 5 American Idol runner-up*, just remember we had our time in the sun. or more appropriately…blissfully out of the sun.

*correction: after the QC team did some follow-up research, i think i should rephrase this statement to say “Idol winner”. katherine mcphee was season 5 runner-up and she’s now on a prime time TV show. taylor hicks, the winner that year, is the one trying to revive (start?) his career in some off-the-strip vegas venue.


Posted in snapshots

another great place for your iphone

April 26, 2012
Leave a Comment

here’s the latest and greatest from “whatever works”, one of my all time favorite catalogs of totally useless consumer products. it’s a wrist cell phone holder! nothing says genius like this patented little mesh piece of fabric that secures a clunky phone to your wrist. keep my iphone in my purse? my pocket? my hand? no thank you!! i want to ensure that i 1. never actually use the phone 2. slightly restrict wrist mobility 3. never go on another date.

it comes in black and pink. and it’s in stock.

hey, whatever works.


Posted in snapshots

intellectual headache

April 6, 2012
Leave a Comment

i just finished a 2-day all day training for LAW Prediscovery Electronic Discovery Certification, which is a fancy word for “blistering headache”.  thank god i found this in my medicine closet…

intellectual headache

"tension headache associated with intellectual fatigue"

i plan on washing a couple of those down with a hefty glass of malbec.  oh, how far we’ve come since head on (insert trademark symbol). “head on! apply directly to forehead! head on! apply directly to forehead!” (i love this product.)


Posted in snapshots, video, work!

my REI dividend

March 21, 2012
Leave a Comment

thank you, REI, for allowing me to afford the second half of that luna bar.


Posted in snapshots

little office gem

March 16, 2012
Leave a Comment

since it’s the end of a friday workday we decided to go crazy and take another little trip to the new office space on the 10th floor.  and stumbled upon this.  it appears we took a wrong turn and ended up at a dharma initiative remote testing facility.  either way, i need to find a way to get that device back to my house.

dharma initiative device


Posted in snapshots, work!

on a light post

March 16, 2012
Leave a Comment

this just in: hallucinogen usage in the west wash park region of denver is on the rise.  as is poor spelling.  here’s an activity:  take a break from counting magicians, have another mushroom cap and explore the definition of “possessive noun.”


Posted in snapshots

we are not on the love boat, people

March 9, 2012
Leave a Comment

there is a reason god created headphones.  perhaps several reasons, but one very good reason god created headphones was to spare your coworkers from your awful music preferences.  especially a coworker who is experiencing LOH (late onset hangover) and who is just trying to survive the last few hours of the friday workday.  the wretched cruise ship jams that are seeping through my office wall were not part of my afternoon plan to assuage the dull pounding in my head.  i feel violated.  though i normally recommend some high performance headphones like beats by dre (such magic) in this particular situation i would strongly urge you to pick up a walgreens pair for $6.99…and hopefully the sound quality is so poor that you can’t hear the awfullness of your own music.


Posted in snapshots
« Previous Page