The Unhipster

we sell tomatoes and things… | September 19, 2014


i recently went for a lovely country road jog in midcoast Maine, where i saw this sign advertising the sale of tomatoes and god only knows what else.  i’m no rhodes scholar, but i’m fairly certain there are rules around the use of “etc,” the main one being: you should not use it after listing one lonely item. we sell tomatoes and…some other things, and we’re going to assume you know what those “other things” are. peppers? fresh live bait? explosive pyrotechnic devices? this is Maine after all and downeast folks don’t fuck around.

i have no idea what else these creeps sell besides tomatoes, but i was tempted to follow the arrow simply because their marketing tactics were brilliant and my curiosity had entered the level of “dangerously and irrationally high.” which is the level just below the one where your curiosity caves and you go to find out what the mystery vendor sells besides tomatoes, only to realize that something is you, and you’re now the property of pirates off the north Atlantic coast. so i continued jogging home.


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